The Blash Family

Macon, Georgia (Senate District 25)

On a normal day in the Blash household in Macon, Georgia, routines that run like clockwork are what make for a happy life. Ms. Blash and their nine-year-old foster son, Chris, get up first. They come down to the kitchen for breakfast and some quiet time. [Chris, who has autism and is nonspeaking, is not pictured for this story because he is in the foster care system.] After Chris is settled and happy with something to watch on his iPad (Dora is the best!), Valerie heads to the lower level of the house where Lawrence and Mya are waiting to start their day. Breakfast looks a bit different for them, especially because Mya is on a ventilator to help her breathe and a g-tube for nourishment.

 (Story continues below after slideshow.) 

On a normal day in the Blash household in Macon, Georgia, routines that run like clockwork are what make for a happy life. Ms. Blash and their nine-year-old foster son, Chris, getup first. They come down to the kitchen for breakfast and some quiet time.[Chris, who has autism and is nonspeaking, is not pictured for this story because he is in the foster care system.] After Chris is settled and happy with something to watch on his iPad (Dora is the best!), Valerie heads to the lower level of the house where Lawrence and Mya are waiting to start their day. Breakfast looks a bit different for them, especially because Mya is on a ventilator to help her breathe and a g-tube for nourishment.

Lawrence (27) and Mya (30)are both nonspeaking and have developmental disabilities. Valerie and Tony Blash adopted them when they were children. Lawrence was adopted first. He was born premature and was surrendered by his mother after being diagnosed as “failure to thrive” as an infant. A shunt to treat hydrocephaly (a buildup of fluid on the brain) became very infected, causing him to have constant seizures. His mother did not feel she could care for him the way he needed. Mya was adopted a few years later. Her mother’s battle with substance abuse led to Mya experiencing malnourishment and underdevelopment in her body and brain. 

Though they have five biological children (all grown and out of the house), Tony and Valerie have been fostering and adopting children for more than thirty years now. When Lawrence came to live with them as a foster child at six months old, he had round-the-clock seizures. Ms. Blash remembers how she and Tony would sit and hold the little child, giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation over and over to keep him alive because there was nothing else to do. They’d received no other training for this sort of extraordinary care.  

Back upstairs, Harrison or “Harry”, 16, is being a typical teenager, doing the slow roll out of bed on this sweltering summer morning. Harry has autism and is nonspeaking. He comes downstairs, sleepily, with a warm smile. Harry sits on the couch, basking in the sun, almost like a cat drinking in the rays. It’s a peaceful scene, so different from the abuse and neglect that led him also to be adopted into this house full of love. Dad, Tony, a Communications adjunct professor for two Macon area universities, is back from a quick run to the grocery store and coffeeshop. He hangs out with Harry and Chris for a few minutes and makes sure they have snacks and the things they need before heading off to grade papers in his office upstairs.

Given the number of incidents in the news where parents of mixed-race children were challenged in the grocery store or parking lots as to whether they were legitimately supposed to be with their own children, have Valerie and Tony ever had an issue with being questioned about their white child? Tony laughs, “I think mostly people just assume I’m his transportation person. I really don’t pay attention to stuff like that. He’s my son. We’re a mixed family. Nobody’s gonna treat him like we will.” He goes on to reflect on how sad it is, how much it pains him, that all of the children they’ve raised over the years (including the three girls they fostered who all graduated from high school at once) came from families that were not able to help take care of them–not just the parents, but the extended families as well.

The amount of equipment needed to keep a household like this going is daunting to say the least. Though Mya is light and can be lifted easily, Lawrence grew significantly in his teenage years. Before they had the rechargeable battery-operated lift to transfer him from wheelchair to bed, Tony and Valerie had to use a hand-cranked machine. They both remark on how hard it was on their bodies. On this day, they’ve been through an entire “will-they-won’t-they” drama because Mya’s ventilator is about to be changed. The one she has is no longer covered by her current insurance. When the appointment finally happens, Valerie and Tony will have to learn an entirely new operating system for this vital piece of equipment that keeps their daughter alive. Add in the dance of having to apply for new wheelchairs every three years through Medicaid as bodies change, and the significant psychiatric and psychological needs of the abused children they’ve raised, Valerie’s eyes cross at the thought of filling out one more form. 

With morning routines over, Chris is ready for lunch. It feels like it’s always time for somebody to eat around here! Valerie heads to the kitchen to warm up some corn dogs. When lunch is over, Tony will pile a few interested parties into the van, and they will head out for an afternoon adventure. Another few things that make their lives more possible: a long ramp leading from the back of the house to the driveway built by a grant from FOCUS, formerly the Fragile Kids Foundation, and their adapted van, which was subsidized by River Edge. Tony says sometimes they just get out to go riding around town with no particular place to go, but sometimes they wind up going to parks or other outdoor locations. As with so many families of people with disabilities, the pandemic was hard on them, isolating. They managed to escape it without a single person in the house getting COVID, but the specter of it still hangs over their heads. Tony laughs that he still meticulously wipes down every doorknob in the house. 

Before heading back upstairs to finish his grading so he can be ready for afternoon adventures, Tony goes over to proudly show off the shelf full of photos where biological, adopted, and foster children are commingled together. There are proud moments of weddings, graduations, and vacations. The family hasn’t traveled much lately, especially during COVID, but they have gotten to go on a few nice trips over the years. It feels miraculous that they can dream of getting away, but Tony laughs and says, “Our kids are great. They are always willing to help us out so we can take a break when we need to.”

When asked what’s special about Lawrence and Mya, Ms. Blash beams. “Well, Lawrence looks just so much like my husband,” she says. “And Mya is a fighter. She’s so feisty!” As she puts Mya down to stretch out her limbs and rest, she gives her some paper to fold. Mya is very specific about the weight and texture of the paper she prefers to handle. The wrong kind of paper is simply the wrong kind. Full stop. And, yes, that includes forms.

 *Note: One of the Blash Family’s previous foster children was Tamika, who was a star of Treasure Maps in 2022. You can view her story here!

Writer: Shannon M. Turner Photographer: Jessica Whitley